Becoming Complacent

Jen Post:

I never wanted to be the person who worked too many jobs in too few of years. I always felt like that made me look like I was never satisfied, didn’t like what I did, or I was one that “doesn’t play well with others.” Now I look at my resume and in my professional career, I have held four jobs in the past five years.  So much for those thoughts…

But one of reasons I left those jobs is that I become complacent. I stopped caring about the business or how I was doing. I didn’t want to improve and I didn’t want to challenge myself anymore, and I wasn’t being challenged. I was just stagnant. I went to work, came home, watched TV, and went to bed. I’ve worked in many different settings for the career I have chosen (brain injuries, rehab, geriatric, chemical dependency, mental health, even community settings), and in each one I find myself leaving a job with a stale taste.

So is it the career path I chose or the company I’m working for? Is it me? Am I just sluggish and lazy?

The newest adventure I’ve come upon in mental health and chemical dependency really is taking a toll on me, as I don’t think I’ve had to push myself this hard in my career path to really push for what I want and stand up for what I think is right. I’ve never used my voice this much as a professional and I’ve also never been more proud of myself. I’ve never had more patients thank me or want to know who I am. I’ve never remembered more patients’ names or want to be on the unit so much to help the nurses and behavioral health workers.

I’m not really sure where I will be working 5 years from now. I’m done letting myself be complacent and giving up on being the best I can. I feel like I need to start giving a damn about how others look at me, and mainly, how I look at myself. What I do in my life is important, and if I don’t believe that, how am I supposed to make others see it?




Running Thoughts

But… Why?

Tonight I went for a run in, ah… longer than I’d like to admit to.

I ran 2.5 miles and didn’t stop to walk and felt pretty alright about it all. It wasn’t far, but it’s a start!

Things like running, and cycling, and swimming (my three biggest sporting loves), always give me time to think. Space to decompress. To process. I always seem to find something to think about. And if I don’t, sometimes not thinking about anything except the task at hand can also be rewarding in it’s own way.

I’m not a fast runner. I’m not a fast swimmer. I’m a decent cyclist.

A few years ago, I was in great shape. I did a triathlon at least once a month from June-September, and placed in my age group often. But… I was also single. Didn’t have very many friends. Had a part-time job and 2 hours a day to devote to the gym. My life as a whole was not super fulfilling.

When I look at where I am now–Wonderful wife (plus cat-children). Great neighborhood. Good job. Solid friends. And I feel like I live a much more well-rounded and satisfying life these days.

It’s not about winning. It never has been. But sometimes I get caught up in the competitiveness of sports, in the comparisons of my times and abilities to someone else’s, and I forget the real reasons why these things matter to me.

So… What Are we Learning?

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