And hello! I mean, where do I even begin this?
I was re-reading my post from this time last year (See: “Dear Little One“) and got sort of emotional about it. From where I sit now, it’s easy to forget those feelings from the first days of #QuarantineCulture. Instead, feeling like we’ve settled into some sort of “known” from the “unknown.” To see there’s an end in sight. And, in the meantime, a ‘new normal’ we’ve eased into–a day-to-day that is familiar now, though it would have been alien this time last year.
But reading that again with hindsight, with the knowledge of everything that was yet to come… damn. I feel it all come rushing back.
So much has changed! (And… so much hasn’t.) But this past year has been truly life changing. So what’s new? Well…
- Last year at this time, I had taken off 6 weeks to settle in with the new addition (a foster son, 2 weeks old at the time). My 6 week ‘family leave’ turned into a 60 day ‘voluntary’ furlough, turned into a 120 day ‘mandatory’ furlough, turned into my job cutting my hours (35/wk -> 24/wk), turned into me having to say ‘bye forever.’ (Well, maybe not forever ever, but you know).
- I now work from (mainly) home in a (still healthcare) related field. It’s not something I saw for myself at this point in my career, but it has been a solid fit for me and most importantly, my family, right now.
- Jen’s work also changed — After a hiatus of a few months due to office closures, she left Company A for Company B. And then a few months later, left Company B for Company A again (same company, different branch). And what was about a half a year of tumultuous transitions… has now settled into another great arrangement for our family. (ie. We have health insurance again – Woot!)
- My book club went to outdoor only, then virtual when Michigan weather became inhospitable, as it tends to get.
- Our country rid ourselves of a parasitic “president” in exchange for someone tolerable.
- The baby who was 2 weeks old this time last year… is still here with us. And just turned one! It’s pretty wild when I try to think back on it all. He has been a challenging baby, but that scrunchy smile he gives us is everything to me. Still a foster care case at the moment, hard to think about the future.
- Our daughter’s adoption was finalized! (December, 2020) — So maybe 2020 tried to redeem itself a bit at the end there.
- I mean, a million things happened in the world.
And, beyond that… the last year was pretty quiet. We found ways to physically distance while still attempting to be social. We camped FREQUENTLY. Which was an amazing break from the rest of our unusual summer of COVID and Unemployment. Related: we learned how to camp with a baby, and it actually wasn’t super terrible. We took one “distance camp” destination vacay with two of our best friends, and it was surreal. But good.
We found that there are still ways to find enjoyment and connection. We found that we actually really appreciate some of the new COVID precautions — like grocery pick ups, and flexible work-from-home options, and capacity caps on places like the Zoo.
Our 5-year old now uses the words “Zoom” and “Door Dash” in her regular vocabulary
And it’s equal parts amusing, and disturbing, and a forever-reminder of the past year of our lives and what has become normal.
Yes, she requests “to go” or “door dash” at least once a week, and you know what — yeah — we oblige her. Because sometimes it’s worth the not-cooking and the not-dishes.
Yes, she asks to “zoom” her Mimi and Papa and not just “regular call them.” And yes — we do that, too.
Thinking back on my fears penned this time last year, I still have some of those wonders as far as the lasting effects this will have on her childhood. But we also signed her up for U6 soccer this spring (masks on!), her future school district is trying to go back to in-person learning (so maybe she can *go* to kindergarten in the Fall)… and I feel like some of the things I wish for her will not be totally eliminated–just… morphed.
And I feel like this past year has been a unique opportunity as a parent. It made me feel like we are raising her to be conscious of other people, and of community. I feel she is learning that science matters, and kindness matters, and oh yeah–Black lives always matter.
She still doesn’t understand why some things “just can’t” happen right now. But she’s also very forgiving. And I think that’s a lesson we should all embrace.
What Next…?
I don’t know. I don’t think we can know. And I don’t even feel like speculating much. I just hope that it’s better. That the good things from this era in time stick around, and that we can remain healthy and find happiness in even the smallest things.
Wherever you’re reading from… I hope this finds you and your family healthy, happy, and taken care of in whatever ways you need. I hope science continues to save us. And I hope it doesn’t take me another year to remember to update this corner of the internet.
With love,
M.
the veiga variable 